Like most things in ‘parenthood’ that bite you up the bum without warning until you google them I have a list of many; for example sleep regression, the fourth trimester blog post here I wonder why parenting is not part of the academic curriculum?
If you have noticed a sudden change in your child’s behaviour and you are being challenged by their every move, out-of-nowhere defiant behaviour? rest assured it is most probably nothing to worry about.
Is your child overly sensitive about absolutely everything from the breakfast they have in the morning to the plate they always use?
Do you feel like your child is manipulating you? when that isn’t what they are actually doing, we know at 4-5 they can tell stories and make up stories.
Out of nowhere, I witnessed Lucas become emotional just by tying up his shoes and putting his jacket and hat on before we were about to step out for a nice Autumnal walk. He also became defiant when I touched the toys he placed in a specific way. I thought to whoa that is a jump in behavioural pattern and very unsual.
All ages are trying but trust me when I say 4 will be the mother of all leaps – and there is a term for it called the ‘limbic leap’ it all gets old, I know.
Could this be the 4-year-old regression? YES it is, and it is the limbic brain to blame, and don’t stress parents it’s totally normal.
The reason for your kid’s emotional out-of-the-blue behaviour is our little child’s brain is growing and developing rapidly – the limbic system to be exact the part of our mid- brain that triggers all our emotions.
I am definitely about the science and not the theory – being a parent you do thrive off the facts, especially with terms like the ‘limbic leap’ which is basically a glorified term to describe a child’s growth spurt, which is to why you need to refrain from needing to use the google search bar and giving you the low down myself.
What every parent wants to know is why is my child playing up? how comes there has been a total shift in their behaviour and most importantly what can we can do to help?
Let me bore you with a little science, in this case, neuroscience because after all of this then you feel rest assured you know exactly why your little precious flock sensitivity may have heightened.
There are parts of the brain the left and the right, they are called the temperal lobes where an almond-shaped structure called the amygdala is embodied – these are the little places of the brain that can analyse and evaluate human emotions – the limbic brain. So this tends to develop between the ages of 0-5.
The Limbic system is responsible for the fight or flight responses – anything emotions related to survival. It is known that teenagers undergo major changes in their limbic system it can also happen at the age of 4.
Emotional Center – (Mid-brain – limbic system) The developmental focus is on ages 0-5. It will last all of 4 maybe some of 5.
Also, there is what we call The Spiral of Development too – so at certain ages of a child they have a Disequilibrium; some negative traits they develop and an Equilibrium; positive traits they develop.
This is exactly what happens when your child’s brain is growing new neurons and synapses, and it makes the amygdala hyper-sensitive and alert to any kind of stimuli. Essentially, your four-year-old’s brain is triggering the fight or flight response for all sorts of things that aren’t real threats.
They are going through a growth spurt and the changes in their brain growth are causing them to find it hard to regulate their feelings.
At the age of four, kids are becoming more independent – they’re not toddlers anymore, and they can communicate well and manage a lot of self-care.
Can growth spurts cause behaviour issues?
Most definitely 100 %
Changes in their sleep and appetite will be affected.
How you can help your little ones during the limbic leap:
- The choice of language and words you use during these trying times with your child are really important – the dialogue is vital. I mentioned before in my Your mini survival guide on ‘how to’- prep your child for reception class & approach each hurdle.blog post. I seek some helpful tips in how to talk to your child in certain situations with tremendous tips from the biglifejournal.com You want to try and talk to your little ones calmly, acknowledge their feelings and create boundaries.
- Music is a big factor in our house hold. Music can enhance a childs mind to a different state of being and listening and dancing to music can be a big stress reliever. Play some music, nothing head banging obviously on full volume, throw on a some happy mellow songs that can get you two stepping this can change up the mood to your childs senses.
- Make them laugh – Now, this may seem difficult when absolutely nothing can break the taxing situation at hand, I can vouch for this one as a humour is my second nature I have tried to act silly and completely turn the situation around by making an utter clown, low and behold one time out of three it worked. I didn’t get a full on emoji like smile I had a grin then a few minutes later I felt the calmness that took over my little one. *Disclaimer this may not always work
- Have some healthy substantial snacks close at hand, let’s lay off the sugary snacks and opt for substantial brain foods, they can be as simple as apples, berries, yoghurt berries are a good suggestion, banana’s, eggs.
- Early bed time – sleep is crucial to a child’s brain development. Ideally all children must be getting nine hours sleep lack of sleep affects brain structure and other outcomes. On weekends of course you will be a little more lenient with sleep bedtimes and just because you can’t help chaotic weekends – everything happens and I mean activities and party galore where they can feel more over stimulated than on the weekdays, then there are half terms which is another star entirely. But be mindful to ease the triggers of the limbic leap outbursts get them to bed early to get a decent night sleep.
- Shower them with lots of contact, giving them embraces and making them feel safe.
- Spend more time outdoors, they call it ecotherapy. Likemin adults too time in an open space outdoors brings great mental benefits – spending time just looking up at the sky and getting some vitamin D into your retina’s can really bring enlighten your children moods in a high way.
- Not only does playing competitive and cooperative board games help a child’s development Playing board games alone can shift the child’s focus and help a kink out the atoms in the limbic part of the brain that may intensify.
Final note, every stage and phase we go through with our littles one are challenging the most important factor I took away from when Lucas went through this phase was reminding myself of the WHY my little one was being sensitive and in a sense out of his little mind – and I promise you first child or not you would of become so resilient in nature to tackle anything after having gone through every sleep regression in the book, teething, potty training and all the rest of it.