The seven acts…
Let’s trick the brain, shall we?
Lesson’s on how to admire things from afar.
The most ludicrous ‘want’ in my wish list album is a tulle organza dress and a camera rig – do I need these two things? No, but I can admire these items from afar. I get it – we live in a consumer-paced century/era, and we need this that, before you know it, has accumulated what we don’t need. I am a sucker for being the idle consumer, especially waiting to pay for things at a till point. There is a great deal of brain power that somebody may need to rewire the brain to think this way – there are some easy steps or even hacks to do this, and I am happy to share some.
Flicking through a Grazia magazine the other day before school pick up in the supermarket, I remembered the good ole days when even holding a glossy magazine was ‘how the girls did it’ before everything became digital age – oooops, I may have disclosed a hint to my age *scrunches face* but those of you know who already know me – we age like fine wine. I would always find inspiration and joy from looking through the pages of Grazia magazine, admiring things from afar, style editorials, rings and things.
Times have changed since then, and Grazia is now available digitally. I remember when attaining ‘things’ wasn’t even such a concept.
There is some science behind it. Your subconscious is talking to you in your head—a false sense of a dopamine hit!
If we had everything we ever wanted, the equilibrium would be off.
Stop….
Instead of trying to gain everything we desire, we can appreciate and admire it from a distance through visuals or other means.
We all desire what we can’t have. However, we can trick the mind—here are some ways/hacks to trick the brain and expect less.
01
Create a ‘wish list’ or a vision board on Pinterest with your heart’s desires.
A large part of our desires and wants is all in our subconscious. I created an album on my camera roll iPhone and named it ‘wishlist heart emoji’. I save photos and screenshots of anything in my wish list album with things that I love; in my idle time, I scroll, and the more I look through the photos, the less inclined I feel to need them – the images can be ANYTHING. I admire high-end pieces even if I cannot indulge; for example, I lusted over a piece by Issey Miyake from his Pleats Please collection for the longest time. I did an A-level project inspired by his collection some moons ago – to this day, I still have the image in a photo album and stare back at it in awe of appreciation and adoration. It is okay to admire things we adore from a distance. I ended up investing in something similar that costs less from Topshop – a winning hack!
02
Romanticise with life, not material things.
Let’s go back and simplify. Think back to old traditions when attaining material things wasn’t necessary—invest in experiences. Living below your current means increases your future means. If you haven’t read Atomic Habits by James Clear, it teaches some of those lives valuable lessons.
Do you ever ponder when life was a little simpler, consuming much more in our ‘era’? It’s funny how the buzzword minimalism is being loosely thrown around, which means living by our means. Reminding myself what life was like much before the 90s when life was simpler, this idea has helped me accumulate LESS – nothing seemed too overwhelming, and life was living by our means. I tend to keep my mum’s old way of saying and traditions she indented in me and my brother, saying that material things don’t always make you happy – we can be more prosperous in experiences. Who remembers when shopping at Topshop and grabbing one item on payday? That one item was enough joy to fulfil your inner cravings. The greatest lesson we can teach ourselves is that living by our current means can increase our future wealth. Your environment and circumstances can have a significant influence in attaining material matter, think about it when you go on holiday, for example, this all depends on where you go of course it can put everything into perspective – put yourself on an island during Summer we go away immerse ourselves in our surroundings and not need any material things, living in a City you are subjected to consumerism.
03
You can rent everything, from tools and lawnmowers to your wardrobe and even your wedding dress: Hurr, By Rotation, Cocoon Club, Rotaro, and Hirestreet, to name a few renting platforms.
Recap to when I needed a new outfit for a summer Wedding, I had my eye on a Ganni number – it was the GANNi Shiny Jacquard Strap dress I found it on By rotation without spending the substantial fortune it would have cost me not to add it would create more clutter, I was able to fulfil my ‘want’ to have for no cost, and I did not have to accumulate more unnecessary weight at the same time. What’s even more genius is that we have apps for convenience – an app for everything nowadays. All these renting platforms have apps you can use at a touch and swipe from your mobile phones/gadgets. I am still amazed by the concept of being able to rent items of clothes or anything of that matter; platforms such as this are big game changers – utilise them!
Gazing at things with admiration and appreciation and flicking through coffee books, magazines, and literature are beautiful sources of inspiration—an archive just to be inspired and change your new way of thinking. They can reimagine your thinking and spark another way of looking at things, lessening your need to want.
04
Practice some gratitude for what we already have.
Practise an abundant life and be happy with what we have – easier said than done.
Think of one thing you are grateful for—for me, it is my happy and healthy 6-year-old son. This makes everything else irrelevant, and you will automatically think less of material matters and focus on what truly matters.
Put into perspective that one thing that you genuinely want. Mine, for example, is hunting for an oversized leather jacket. Ask yourself, I already have a leather jacket. Do I need an oversized one? Will this matter in x, y, and z years? I can admire a similar item that is oversized; let me pin some I like on Pinterest that can stroke your craving.
05
GET RID OF SCARCITY MINDSET and the Power of ‘I get to’ – rewire your thinking. Don’t judge yourself if you are not able to!
I am giving you one good example slash scene from a movie; the ‘nothing fits me’ scene/meme in this is 40 – watch it; it always makes me giggle. The reality is WE DO have things; we need to learn to embrace what we already have, basically rewire our brains and practise gratitude – did you know that I decluttered my wardrobe and, to my surprise, I honestly did not need anything – I always put things into perspective by thinking of the things that I already have and be grateful for this. A little hack from Atomic Habits also uses the same concept, the power of ‘I get to’ because you have x, y, and z. I have a happy and healthy son, and this is a positive force in my life. When you put everything into perspective, the need for wanting will lessen.
06
That tulle skirt you have been lusting over won’t matter when you begin weighing out YOUR PRIORITIES.
Goals can create pressure, so instead, list your priorities, and everything else will follow; when you list what is IMPORTANT and what you want to focus on, material things will become secondary. It is that simple. For example, I wanted to have an experience with Lucas in a month. Last month, we went to see The Lion King. This experience was put in the bank of our memories and will last a lifetime.
07
Declutter your Social media, or use ‘the save to collection’ tab.
Did you know that Social media influences 71% of our buying habits? Yes, that is true; that is way more than half. We’ve heard it all before. Social media can play havoc with our consumer habits and the mindset of others having what we don’t have. Those sponsored ads do not help either; they can tease you, proving high strategic social marketing at its best . Do a declutter of who you follow – put them on mute. I went through all the people I follow on Gram and unfollowed anyone or anything that triggered me or made me feel confident about attaining what I wanted. I tried the social detox, which is virtually impossible, so read clean and out your social media. Also, I like to click on the ‘save to collection’ tab.